Thoughts about sex

sourcedumal:

Our standard for women’s sexuality right now are horrid. Really they are.

Considering the fact that female pleasure is not even taught is tantamount to this. I mean, the cisgendered female body has the only organ that is dedicated SOLELY to pleasure. That’s it. Doesn’t file taxes, doesn’t do laundry. It is there to make her feel good.

But we don’t discuss it at all. I remember my sex education started in 4th grade, and we ended up watching a video, and they briefly talked about masturbation (which is rare according to many folks I have spoken with). It was mostly male masturbation (the person “masturbating” under the covers and making a squeaking noise in the video was male). There was NO discussion whatsoever about the clitoris and how it works.

I didn’t even KNOW what a clitoris looked like until I randomly found my cousin’s Penthouse magazines in the basement. It was the first time I ever saw an erect penis, as well as an exposed vulva. I was intrigued by the way the genitals looked, for I had never really seen a man’s penis before, nor had I any idea what mine looked like between my legs.

Later on in life, I started viewing porn, and most of it bored me to tears. There was nothing but plasticity and fake and boredom. White women being impaled on a giant (white or black, but never anything else) penis/penises with hardly any foreplay. I would always be curious about threesomes as well. And 99% of threesomes that pervaded societal norm was the cliched 2 girls 1 guy fantasy that really didn’t speak to me.

Threesomes had always seemed like something that wasn’t allowed, something abstract, or something that “fast girls” did. I always thought I was alone in wanting to have a threesome with two men, for I would always hear the diatribe of “two girls together is sexy, but two guys? EW! GROSS” from both men and women of my age group.

Add in the fact that the black community is quite sexually repressed, and you get another level of indignant resistance to the notion of a threesome, for so many black men and women refer to women who have had more than one partner at a time as “had a train ran over her.” That we associate such violent hyperbole to a situation that is likely to be consensual by all three parties is a telling precedent.

Women’s sexualities are not their own, but an expected performance for the pleasure of others. And that needs to change heavily in order to bring about more positive change.

(via feministrobot-deactivated201203)

4 months ago  /  58 notes  /  Source: sourcedumal